im drinking this country out of the recession.
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
