See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
