Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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