Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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