My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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