just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
