So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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