Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
