She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
last night I used snow as a chaser
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
