if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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