the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
