u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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