This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
