are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
