its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
