So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
