so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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