I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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