I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
