i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
