My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I checked into jail on foursquare
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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