i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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