I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
