Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Randomize
