It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Randomize
