You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
