She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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