I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
