I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
