I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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