"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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