it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
