While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize