I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Alive.
So much puke
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
