the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
ttyl tear gas
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Randomize
