Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Randomize
