Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
