You work out of a Hotel?
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
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