the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
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