Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
