Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.