batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.