she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
