Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
