I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
