I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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