Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
