they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
