I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Randomize
