How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
