Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
