There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Randomize
