I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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