I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
