Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Redeem this text for a blowjob
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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