Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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