Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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