I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i already hear my dad disowning me
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Randomize
