Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
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