You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
My ass is underappreciated
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
