New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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